If one wants to get into the sleepiest city in this great country of ours, one has to visit nay, stay, in this city for at least one month continuously. Indeed my friends are all surprised that, when most say such nice things about Bangalore, why shud i take a contrary view.
The first is ALTITUDINAL PROBLEM. Bangalore is situated @1000 metres ( a lil less than Solan) above the sea level. Therefore for the denizens there is less air to breathe and over a period of time a certain unexplained sluggishness creeps into one’s lifestyle. This lethargy is unfelt by the persons who have stayed out for a long time in Bangalore.
Because of this high altitude, the tea comes to boil faster but the flavour and the colour do not get drained into the brew. Hence do not go by the boil, leave it simmering for twice the time at the plains.
The altitude is DISGUISED. None sees any hills and valleys around hence it gives an appearance of plains, yet has all the difficulties of the hills.
The second is THE TIME LAG. None in Bangalore reacts instantaneously, except the Auto-rickshaw drivers. This is because everyone else is still figuring out in which language to respond. whereas this time-lag does not hit the rickshaw-wallah, as he has already figured out the appropriate language ( Appropriate language doesn’t mean the language known to the other, it is merely a choice out of the six languages thru which the true-blue Bangalorean launches his strategic attack) he smooth talks his way into your wallet!
If one calls for an electrician or carpenter or a plumber, he is quick to respond and say that he wud be there in half-an-hour. But only divine guidance could get him to your home within the next 7 days. It is all taken in one’s stride. The landlord himself might leave the home after the call- as the call was made at the importunity of his Xanthippe- and would give a time lag of 7 days for that half-an-hour to mature. Efficiency is at its lowest ebb.
The traffic snarls, slow response to situations, breathing problems like bronchitis etc. are all off-shoots of the above mentioned facts.
GIVE THE TOUGHEST JOB TO THE LAZY AND HE’LL FIND THE SHORTEST ROUTE TO DO IT!!!
The upside of all the above is that, some inter-city guys remember that in INDIA, we have the industrious Mumbaiites, worker-bee Madrasis, profit oriented Gujratis and Marwaris, the politically savvy Delhiites etc., and the thought of the efficiency of these places, keep the smart Bangaloreans on their toes and provide EASY and LAZY solutions that are marketed all over the country and thereby sweatlessly make all the moolah.
NO SWEAT: In Bangalore one doesn’t sweat, at any time of the year, and that has led to the lower middle classes getting to do no physically exerting job and thereby increase in toxicity. For precisely this reason, it is easy to find them obese and dark complexioned- not because of their natural complexion, but because of the sweat pores being blocked out.
Despite such besetting prospects, it is this laziness that produces some of the most path-breaking solutions and therefore prosperity to this HIGH ALTITUDE city.
If one is not convinced about my hypothesis, one could see that it was Bangalore which liberated INDIA from the EDUCATION POLICY and made it a big time business by allowing admissions into Professional Colleges on payment of Capitation fee;
it was Bangalore that made the obsolete LAND & LABOUR LAWS of this country defunct by popularizing the IT industry and creating wealth without large holdings in land and bypassing the unionization of Labour force and;
it is in Bangalore that one could talk in any language (except Tamil during the cauvery disturbances) and see the true INTEGRATION of INDIANS on NON-LINGUISTIC BASIS.
Now the latest is that they have got the Airport so far away from the city that, a new direction of growth has been given to the future state of TELENGANA & RAYALSEEMA, instead of the state of Tamil Nadu thru Hosur!!
If there is any new direction given to our great country, it has its origins from this city of BANGALORE, not because it is the most INDUSTRIOUS or CAPITALIZED or SUPER-SKILLED or ENLIGHTENED, but because it ATTRACTS THE LAZY AND CHURNS THEM INTO INNOVATORS FOR THE NEXT EVENTUALITY.
THIS RECESSION TOO SHALL PASS, BUT THE RESOLUTION SHALL EMANATE FROM BANGALORE.
WE BANGALOREANS HAVE CONTRIBUTED TO ENGLISH, A WORD FOR MOVING OUT WORK OVERSEAS, AND WE SHALL FIND A WAY TO BEAT THE RECESSION TOO! WE HAVE MANY LAZY GUYS PLANNING IT OUT HERE!!!